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Writer's pictureEve Rose

I have been cat-fished

Updated: Jun 22, 2022


It wouldn’t be the first time.


When you think of Spain, you may be taken to childhood memories from family holidays on the Costa del Sol. All-inclusive beach-front hotels, quickly tip-toeing on hot sand, adorning t-shirts in the pool to cool down (I was that pale) and making friends with Northern kids in the resort. Since then, I've realised I'm like a plant. My mood is greatly influenced by the weather, so I’ve been a sun-chaser for as long as I can remember. Of course it means that being in the UK can pose a challenge when the British weather does what it does best.

The first time I had been cat-fished by a place was in 2013 when I was applying for University. Did you know that Exeter is one of the rainiest cities in the south? I didn’t. Rather than looking up annual weather reports on holiday-weather.com I was mesmerised by the University of Exeter. The grounds were stunning and there was a COSTA on campus, that was it, I wanted in (I didn’t know what Russell Group meant, but if I did at the time, that would probably be the reason I’d tell people). I’d fantasised about living in Devon after spending school breaks by the beach there with family. I couldn’t believe this would be somewhere that I could study (should I grind down in my A-Level Media studies for that all-important ‘A’). I can count the number of times I’ve felt as ecstatic as when I found out I’d achieved what I needed to be accepted onto my Anthropology course at Exeter.


It’s funny comparing your ‘type on paper’ with the reality of living that life you imagined. 2013 began a challenge I didn’t think I’d face. I thought I was a pretty relatable person with a good sense of humour and able to get on with a variety of different people. It turned out that variety of people were contained within a 5 mile radius around my hometown of Basingstoke. If you didn’t know, 40% of the student body of Exeter University are from privately educated backgrounds. The pilgrimage from Surrey to Exeter occurs every September, and is showing no signs of stopping. There were clear differences between myself and those I was living with in first year halls. They were nice people (mostly) however it was difficult to join in some conversations about anecdotes from their private school days. Body-image conversations between the girls in my flat was particularly disheartening: "OMG I can’t believe these pyjamas are size 12, my mum’s a size 12!". I began to notice things on my body I hadn’t noticed before and hid some things I was eating out of fear of judgement. A month in, I was excited about an essay I was writing on the origins of the peace sign and bought an iron-on ‘STOP WARS’ transfer sticker (amusingly in the Star Wars font) for a t-shirt. It was met with "That’s so gay." by one of the guys in my flat as I was flattening down the more stubborn corners of the sticker.





I turned inward and realised I preferred being in my own company than with the people in my flat. I had my first bar job at a ‘vibey’ underground club on the quay. My social energy was being spent with Exeter locals who I decided were outrageously more fun and relatable than people I was living with. Thankfully, a lovely group of girls adopted me towards the end of first year and I lived with them in second year. It was a glorious far-cry from my first year experience, but I was still unable to properly integrate with them after feeling so foreign in my first year.


My third year was spent in Spain on my Erasmus year. I’m not even sure if the programme exists now, but I wouldn’t have been able to afford it without the generous grants the programme offered. The only Spanish option available was in the town of Segovia. I wouldn’t say I was cat-fished by Segovia, I was under no illusions that the temperature would come near that of Malaga, however I naively assumed that anywhere south of the UK would probably mean better weather. The first weeks in Segovia were SWELTERING. I had arrived towards the end of August and gave myself two weeks before term started to really get to know the place I’d be living for the next 8 months. I had soon met other international students, which wasn’t a difficult task as the University was a popular option for diplomats’ children. I was pretty confident that my new bright life abroad would rival my first undergraduate years in the UK. It did. But that wasn’t hard a feat. Of course, after those first two weeks, the heavens opened and the temperature dropped. But I didn’t care, because we’d wrangled a group of exchange students together and our group was growing. Being hyper-organised, I created a social media group for exchange students because I was hungry to meet more people who had been dropped into this Spanish town.



It was one of the greatest experiences I’ve had. There were lulls when it was too cold out to do anything, and even a few (near-blind) panicked tears at the post office when my contact lenses weren’t turning up, but I'd met friends for life. The study experience was a challenge in itself, the classes required participation in a way I hadn't seen in Exeter, no cruising allowed. My experience has been shared by my University here. The overt confidence of my peers was intimidating, but I soon realised they were just louder, not always smarter. Which gave me the push I needed to air my views on the topic at hand.



'The Survivors'



Since leaving University I had often thought back to my time in Spain. I knew I wanted to return, albeit for different reasons than before. I applied to be a teaching assistant in Spain during the pandemic. There was nothing I needed more than a change of scenery and some thinking space. Working in a government department can do that to a person. I chose Andalucía for the weather. SURELY it will be better than Segovia and the UK. I had done my research this time. Once I was placed in the province of Cádiz I breathed a sigh of relief. Once again, the first two weeks of my arrival in October were almost uncomfortably warm, just how I liked it. Then it began. Probably a record-long period of overcast and rainy weather between October and January, fine, it's winter. Mid-January and February were surprisingly bright and I optimistically thought this was a sign of what's to come. Now we are in April. Cádiz has been hit with amber wind warnings and I can count the number of warm days we've had. If I was a global-warming denier I would be in my element. I drove a terrifying journey in the rain yesterday from Cádiz back to Prado and splashed out on a 2.99€ bottle of wine to celebrate my survival on my return. I won't sugar-coat what it's like living in a small town when it's raining. Prado doesn't have the array or indoor shopping centres nearby where you can spend the day browsing, nor does it have any other places of entertainment that are so common in the UK. I wouldn't mind, as I enjoy staying in now and again to write or read, but the UK has been frustratingly dry.




We have six more weeks of the programme and of living in Spain, it's not even close to those bright first few weeks we had in the town. My expectations may have been to spend days basking in the sun while trying to organise my future, but instead I've had experiences with others I never thought I would. Spending time teaching students has been the bright silver lining that I never foresaw. I've had the pleasure of joking with younger students and trying to advise struggling older ones. I leave classes some days feeling quietly elated as I can see how I've made a positive impact on my students. I'll be really sad to leave them, but I hope they thrive in their future.





I've come to learn not to regret any experiences that I've had, even if they didn't meet my (admittedly lofty) expectations. Maybe I didn't come away with many great stories about being at Exeter, but now I'm more resilient. The bitterly cold days in Segovia didn't matter while I was playing pub golf with some of my best friends. Being plagued by bad weather in Prado can sometimes feel like a boring joke, but it's made me realise that it doesn't have to be sunny in order to feel happy, as long as there are people around to make less-boring jokes with. Thankfully, I don't hold any false illusions about my home-town for when I return. It won't be long until it's time for another adventure, this time within the borders of the UK and all that it has to offer.


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