TW: suixide and mental health
EDIT: I originally wrote this post in April '22. As I was still working at my school, it just felt a bit too raw to talk about at the time.
Sometimes living in a small town in Spain feels like checking out of real life. I’ve wandered through my new Spanish life sometimes blissfully unaware of current global politics or covid news. One reason being that my Spanish knowledge was painfully limited, so I couldn’t join in with colleague conversations about various happenings in the world. And the other being that it’s rare to see the news or breaking bulletins out in public. In the UK we are used to seeing news headlines in corner shops or even at bus stops. It’s near-impossible to switch off.
My method of ignorance was fine in the beginning. After all, I was adapting to living in a new country, my attention was focused on my own matters. By avoiding negative news in Prado, it led me to view it as an escape from the trauma of the world outside. Of course I still had access to social media, so I was aware of various goings on. However the bad news remained within the screen of my phone, with few reminders in the streets of the town. Protecting myself in this way has worked for me. But it means that when something happens in the new environment I’ve created for myself, the bubble-burst of real life can be jarring.
Something tragic happened to a colleague of mine at my school, resulting in his passing. If I don’t talk about it, I’d feel like I’d be lying to future language assistants and I think it's important to be transparent about cultural differences. It felt foreign that something so grim had happened to a teacher in my school, where everything generally feels light-hearted, though a little chaotic. It felt misplaced and shocking. I wondered what support would be available for staff after such a loss, I had already guessed the answer before I asked the question. It was a stark reminder that attitudes towards mental health vastly differ between Spain and the UK. Imagine trying to explain what has happened to a group of children and teenagers. Especially after you are just coming to terms with the news yourself. We know the worst things that can happen when someone suffers with a mental health illness. The only thing you're able to do is try to prevent it from happening again. The inaction in this case was upsetting.
I care for my colleagues, and feel they have been let down. It’s impossible to know how each person feels, but maybe more action, even just talking, could prevent future tragedies. I don’t want to go into detail about the specifics at my school, however I’m certain that it is not unique in the way it handled the situation. I have heard from other auxiliares who have known students and colleagues to take their lives while they've worked at their schools. One auxiliar didn’t know her colleague had passed at her own school, and was instead informed by her friend who worked in a neighbouring school. My co-ordinator has always kept me informed about situations, which I am thankful for. However it is impossible to know what is happening all of the time, especially with my limited Spanish and a handful of colleagues I’d be comfortable to ask.
We are used to seeing campaigns by mental health support agencies in the UK, so most of us know who to call if we’re struggling with our mental health. Some are underfunded, have long waiting lists, and it’s impossible to tell how effective they are, but at least they’re easy to find. I found some Spanish equivalents, listed below, but have never seen them advertised anywhere.
Spanish crisis lines
Teléfono de esperanza
Open 24 hours
English speaking crisis line in Spain
Samaritans in Spain tel: 900 525 100
UK crisis line
Samaritans UK tel: 116 123
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